... Hold The Phone.

I have always been mature for my age; responsible, accountable, relatively knowledgeable.

Today; however, I get a far more telling item in the mail, the very least of which do I care to indentify. Yet.

A complimentary copy -- addressed to me -- of More Magazine.

What can I say, I'm a sucker for free bathroom literature, especially those with Michelle Obama as the cover story; so I tear off the plastic, put the subscription offer into the shred bin and flop the rag into the basket by the toilet without a second thought.

But once I get to thumbing, I notice a disturbing trend in its literary substance:

The word "ageless" appearing repeatedly in the makeup ads. Multiple photos of "distinguished" looking ladies accompanying the articles entitled: "10 Women on TV Who make Over-40 Look Fabulous," "10 Reasons We're Glad We're Over 40," "Fashion For Grown-ups," and then ...

"Retirement For The Restless."

YOU-WHAAA?

Folks, More.com describes in its little top left corner as "Celebrating Women 40+."

But I'm not even 30 yet!!!

Where do these muckrakers get their demographic data?

More alarmingly, how did they get my name?! I don't give anyone my address or phone number. How do these people find me?!

Har-umph!